What's Happening To Me?

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I've been excited about so many things. From a whining person a month ago, something strange happened, and things are becoming clearer. I recently realized the value of having an insurance. I'm a person who's afraid of dying. I don't want my kids to suffer what my sisters and I have experienced when our mother died. We were left with a million worth of debt, unpaid mortgages, credit cards, etc. My poor father have to shoulder everything. I used to blame my mother for what we have to go through after her death. Our lives were changed, every member in the family was affected. These past few days have made me realized how bad I was to blame my dead mother for our financial problems. I suddenly realized that she was not financially literate. She didn't realize the importance of investing when she was still alive. I still love her despite what happened. Somehow, things would have been better if we knew people who could give a good influence about money.

Last weekend, I met two different agents. Both were knowledgeable about their products. Agent 1 started discussing about my finances and what could be left after deducting expenses from our salaries. Agent 2 started discussing about the background of the company. Agent was straightforward in what she could offer. Agent 2 provided me with enough information about the different technical terms associated with finances. For the value of a VUL worth 350k, Agent 1's quarterly premium is double of Agent 2's. I still have to research on their respective products. I asked for a month to think about it before making a decision.

Aside from being more financially-concerned and interested these days, I also decided to change my hair color. Being a housewife has decreased my confidence. I lost interest in going out and learning new things. I became content with my kids and what I need to do at home. I somehow lost my motivation to grow and learn as an individual. Parenthood has put me in a cage where everything I do becomes a chore. I love what I do for my husband and kids, but somehow, I lost 'it'. And so I decided to change something about myself.

To end this, I just want to say that I started to think of the future because I was holding on so long to the past. Change is good.

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