US Embassy Manila Interview

Last February 16, I accompanied my father for his interview at the US Embassy. He is scheduled at 8:30am. Below are some tips:

1. Do not come very early. It is advised that you come at least 15 to 30 minutes before your schedule. Remember, even if the line gets too long, being there at that time of your interview is what matters. Everyone will be accommodated.

2. Senior citizens can be accompanied inside the embassy. Upon presenting the DS-260 and the interview letter, the person at the gate will ask if the person who will be interviewed, specially senior citizens, have someone with them and the reason. Allow the person to be interviewed to answer the reason.

3. Upon arriving outside the embassy, you might be lured at sitting at the available chairs outside. DO NOT. Each one pays P30 for it. I wonder why the police or security guards outside the embassy are not warning the interviewees. Kickback, I guess.

4. Upon arriving at the embassy, there may be some people who will approach you asking if you need assistance. DO NOT entertain them. I saw a man having his photo taken by one of those people. I guess he thought he brought the wrong picture. They charge a lot. I also overheard a man not having a DS-260 and was asked to pay P450 for it.

5. The vendors outside the embassy will act as if giving instructions and reminders to the people in line. Ignore them. If you have any questions, approach a US embassy employee who roams once in awhile to organize the lines. They may seem busy but they respond properly when approached.

6. One DOES NOT need a pen or any writing material inside the embassy. I saw a man being lured to buy a ballpen because he was told by a vendor that sign pens are not accepted inside.

7. DO NOT bring any gadget inside. One will not be allowed to enter. There may be some people outside who will offer their help in safekeeping your gadget. The asking price is P300 up.

8. DO NOT bring food inside. There may be stores inside, but I only saw a donut kiosk.

9. Bring all the necessary document. Do not worry if you do not have the same documents like the other applicants. Remember, each applicant is different. Do not compare your documents, it's not safe.

10. Follow instructions and be attentive.

11. Fall in line all the time. I remember being able to sit only at the last step.

12. Check the embassy website for any advisories or announcements. Come to the interview with the needed information, not only about the possible questions that may be asked of you, but also about the documents that you should bring.

When I became a mom...

1. When I became a mom, I felt more complete. My search for life's meaning led me to a clearer path. Happiness before depended on having material things, spending time with friends, and being able to keep my job. That was before. Now, everything is simple--spending time with the kids, serving them, taking care of them, loving them...

2. When I became a mom, I appreciated my mother more. How I wished she's still alive looking after her grandkids, and somehow telling me that I've been doing the right thing. When I lost my mother, I lost myself. Now, with my kids, everything went into place.

3. When I became a mom, I learned the value of sacrificing. My father has worked for almost 30 years. He left when I was about 2, and I didn't really cared about him when I was growing up. When my mother died, I thought, 'why her?', and now I've found the answer. My father's now 71 and still healthy. His presence has made me realized how important a parent's sacrifice is to his child. It is only then that I felt lucky and how I started to care for what I have now.

4. When I became a mom, I became more concerned with my health. Having three ceasarian operations and a laparascopic cholecystectomy have always left me thinking about my presence for my children. Who will take care of them when I'm gone?

5. When I became a mom, I tried my best to do the right thing in all aspects of life. I do not strive for perfection but I'm trying to be a good example to my kids. It's a continuous struggle.

6. Lastly, when I became a mom, I decided to give my love more without the fear of not being loved in return. Though, I worry about how fast my kids have been growing up, I 've realized that worry is useless. Hence, I must make the most of it. I must give them my time, support, and love.

'A mother's love is infinite, it goes beyond death, it has no limitations. 

A mother's love should not be questioned, should not be forgotten.'

Mga Tanong ng Bata, atbp.

   Mabilis lumaki ang mga bata. Pahirap ng pahirap ang mga tanong nila. Sana nga math problem na lang ang pinapa-solve sa akin, baka kayanin ko pa. Pero nitong mga nagdaang mga araw, nagugulat ako dahil madalas, hindi ko alam kung paano uumpisahang sagutin ang mga tanong nila. Akala ko na kapag nasa ganoong sitwasyon na ang isang magulang, madali na dapat sagutin. Hindi pala. Minsan, hindi lang mga tanong nila ang dapat mahirap sagutin, pati yung mga katuwiran nila. Sa totoo lang, napapaisip na lang ako bigla, sabay sabi sa sarili na, 'oo nga no'.

1. Tanong: 'Bakit kailangang maniwala kay God?'

    Kumakain kame nito ng hapunan at ang panganay ko ang nagtanong. Sa totoo lang, nagulat ako at nagmadali mag-isip ng sagot. Ayoko kase isipin ng anak ko na ang tagal kong sumagot at baka bigla na lang syang hindi na magka-interes dito. Ayokong ring mahalata niya na nahihirapan ako, hahaha.

    Sagot: 'Kailangang maniwala kay God kase ito ang 'mag-guide' sa behavior at actions mo sa buhay. Kung wala kang paniniwalaan, kanino ka maniniwala, sa ibang tao?' 

2. Sitwasyon: Tinuturuan ko ang pangalawa kong anak tungkol sa mga kulay. Sa libro, tinanong ko sa kanya ang kulay ng abokado. Sabi niya, 'violet'. Sabi ko, 'pwedeng green o brown'. Kase sa totoo lang, nalito rin ako, hahaha. 

3. Tanong: 'Paano kinukuha ang baby sa tiyan pag nanganganak?'

  Eto, hirap na hirap ako dito. Dahil talagang sinabi ko sa anak ko mula ng saksakan ako ng anesthesia hanggang sa paggising ko. Di naman niya sinabi sa akin na di niya naintindihan, pero di na sya nag-'follow-up question'. Hahaha.

4. Tanong: 'Saan galing ang mga regalo ni Santa Claus?'

    Eto talaga, sinabi ko ang totoo. Ang mga regalo ni Santa Claus ay galing sa mga magulang, ninong at ninang, hahaha. Na ang totoong Santa Claus ay nasa North Pole 'ata', ang yung mga napapanood sa tv ay kathang-isip lamang. 

5. Tanong: 'Bakit naghihiwalay ang mag-asawa?'

    Sinabi ko sa anak ko na nangyayari yun kapag di na masolusyonan ang pag-aaway at mas marami pang dahilan. Sabi ko magpasalamat sya na wala kame sa ganuong sitwasyon at totoong nangyayari yuon sa ibang tao.

    Sinusubukan kong hindi magsinungaling sa mga anak ko kase ayokong magkaroon sila ng perpektong ideya sa mga nasa paligid nila. Marami pang susunod. Salamat.

    

On Getting Married...Again

One January morning, over a cup of coffee, my husband and I decided to get married again, but this time in a church. We got married in civil rites in 2009. I thought that was enough. I love attending church weddings because of the solemnity of the event. We didn't get married in church back in 2009 because I didn't want to. The problem has been with me-- I didn't want to prepare because I know how stressful the planning process would be. And so, fast forward to 2015, after realizing the importance of a church wedding and the eagerness of once again professing our vows in front of our family and friends, and, after 6 years and 3 kids, we have decided to have a church wedding on June 12, 2015.   

We initially wanted April 2015 because it summer and we're hoping to hold it in Marinduque. When we had a our family's short vacation there last December, I fell in love with the simplicity and the cleanliness of the environment. However, I've realized the difficulty of travelling back and forth to process and prepare everything. So we decided to hold it in Manila.

The Church: 3 Choices

a. Saint Francis of Assisi in Mandaluyong

b. Pinaglabanan Church in San Juan

c. Annunciation Parish in Cavite

Since I am not based in Manila anymore, I thought that holding the ceremony in the first two churches I have been familiar with would be easy. It wasn't the processing of the documents that became the challenged. It was the fact that my husband and I cannot go out because no one will look after our 3 kids. We realized that we cannot rely on other people to look after them. To solve the problem, we decided to have the wedding instead near our house. The church is just 10 minutes away from our house. On our first visit to inquire about their wedding, we even brought our 3 kids--that somehow made it memorable.

                                                               Annunciation Parish

For the other things to prepare for, I made a list of the most important things in a wedding. Since we're on a budget, we need to value every penny spent. Here's the list:

1. Church

2. Reception

3. Caterer

4. Photography

5. Make-up artist

6. Attire

7. Invitation

8. Souvenir

9. Cake

10. Transportation

Details on the above list will follow:)

The Time I Got Lost

Let me begin by saying that my journey to finding myself is still halfway. I still feel lost sometimes, but not compared before. Why was I lost? I felt that I didn't know what I wanted to do, how I wanted to do things. I am a mother, I have 3 kids, I have a good husband. Maybe you'd ask, 'why should you be lost if you have a happy family?' Good question. The answer: 'I don't know'. 

Was it because of my religion? Am I not praying hard enough? As I began to ask questions, I slowly understood how I was focused more on what I wanted to get, instead of what I was willing to give. I always expect other people to give me something. I was lost because I refused to give a part of me. And with that refusal, I never learned that there was something positive about me. I hated myself a lot of times. I was focused more on what material things I can have to enjoy. Even if I go to church to hear mass, I go just for the sake of doing so, not really for my spiritual development. Maybe, that's why I got lost. I refused to give myself wholeheartedly to God. I refused to believe. Well, I believe, but not a 100%. 

I know it's still a long process. And life has many things to offer. I am more hopeful now. I look forward to better things now. Well, I guess, I'm not really lost anymore, or maybe I just forgot. The unraveling of things in the past months have helped. And with that I was content. 

. 

Teaching Kids about Faith and Death

Kids ask anything, and everything. It is sometimes exhausting to answer all their questions, that I usually end up and is also guilty of saying, 'You'll understand it more when you grow up'. As much as I want to explain everything, one answer leads to another question, and another, and another. Questions such as 'Why is Jesus dead?', 'Is Jesus dead?', "Who is God?", 'Where does a baby come from?', "Where is Granny 1 (my mother) and why did she die?' have been asked to me by my eldest daughter. It was not easy for me to answer her because I do not even know how to simplify the answer. 

A few months ago, in a book sale, I found this book that costs less than a hundred. The title of the book is I Know He Is There. The book aims to teach kids about faith. It became handy for me because I usually end up explaining questions about faith and death through this book. The main point of this book is that as long as a child believes in something, it is still present in his heart even if he doesn't see it. Below is an excerpt: 

  'When I fold my arms, and bow my head to pray, I can't see Heavenly Father, but I know He is there.

   I can't hear Him, but I know He hears me thanking Him for all my blessings.

   I can't see Him, but I know He sees me, and watches over me.

    I can't touch Him, but I know He is there....'

Written by: Rebecca Gundersen Thornley

Sibling Rivalry

Source: yummymummyclub.ca

Having 3 kids is fun but crazy. There's shouting, crying, fighting, and more almost everyday. It's not really difficult to calm a crying child when he hurts himself. It's a greater challenge when more than one child cries because he's fighting with another sibling. The University of Michigan Health System defines Sibling Rivalry as 'jealousy, competition and fighting between brothers and sisters'. It is true that it is one of the most common challenges of being a parent. There are even countless articles on how to address it. Each parent has his own style in handling this when tension happens. What I am going to discuss will include real situations and how I have tried my best to resolve them.

1. Sister A tells me, 'Mama, i love you' then hugs me. Sister B upon seeing it walks out and goes to the corner of the room almost crying.

What I did: I called on Sister B, talked to her, and assured her that I love her too. I then told her that we love each one of them, and that she has nothing to feel sad about.

--I think kids have a tendency to feel sad and be left out when they see one of their siblings express gratitude or love towards one parent. Kids' emotions are usually seen as shallow, but parents should not ignore this. Kids are very sensitive. They have this constant yearning for love, and as parents, it should be our top priority to make them feel loved and appreciated.

2. Sister A and B fight over shoe color. Mama bought shoes for the 2, pink for Sister A and blue for Sister B. Sister B wants the pink one, but the size doesn't fit her. She cries and gets mad.

What I did: Since I couldn't really exchange the shoe colors because of the shoe size, I just let Sister B cry until she stopped. I put the shoes back in the box, talked to her and told her the many beautiful things that are also color blue. Next thing I noticed, she was wearing the shoes already.

--Kids have a tendency to not listen sometimes no matter how hard things are explained to them. In addition, even if a parent tries his best to keep his cool, it will not be enough in the end. I believe that kids should be allowed to cry at their hearts' content. They will eventually get tired anyway:) After that, they are more willing to listen.

3.  Sister A is busy drawing and Sister B wants to join. Then Sister A shouts at Sister B so that the latter will stop bothering her, and this makes Sister B cry.

What I did: I told Sister A that what she did is wrong and asked her to apologize to her sister. I told her to talk properly to her sister and should not shout at any of her siblings. I then told the other kid to also apologize to Sister A for bothering her, and to look for another toy that she could be busy with.

--Kids also want their privacy to be respected. It's wasn't easy to apprehend Sister A because she was just busy and quiet all along. But the fact that she shouted at her sister didn't spare her from being scolded. 

4. Sister B is busy playing with a toy and Brother A, upon seeing it, gets excited and suddenly grabs the toy. Sister B tries her best not to let go of the toy and this made her brother cry.

What I did: I talked to the little boy and told him to get another toy. He's in a stage where he wants to get anything he likes. This happens most of the times. I sometimes let my boy get what he wants, but when I say no, it's final. I just let him cry.

--Fighting over a toy is one of the most common reasons why siblings fight. I experience it everyday, and honestly, I'm beginning to get used to it. I try my best to be patient as possible, to be calm, even if I'm bombarded with other responsibilities at home. In the end, I just explain things to them and let them be emotional about it. Maybe they'll cry for 5 minutes or even more, and again, I will just let them. I've realized that if I will always give in with what they want, what will happen when they grow up?

Parents should never get tired of explaining things to their children. Time is really the most precious gift to give them. When we listen and talk to them, we are already making most of our time for them. Even at our busiest, let's make it a point to be with them at their happiest and most emotional/loudest crying moments. Kids grow up fast and I'm happy that i'm not missing anything so far:)